The Big Blue Box of Randomness
by TheBigCat
Summary: A place for all the random story ideas that come out of my insane head. OneShots! Featuring all Doctors, mostly NewWho though. Mainly humour, though you can expect some whump and crack set in there too. A bit like me, honestly. So come on in, and join the fun. Latest story- You Know You're a Whovian When...
1. Prologue

_**Prologue**_

"What's this?" Kay poked curiously at the blue box sitting on his sister's desk. It shook slightly, and growled at him. He carefully backed up, keeping his eyes on it. "It doesn't seem very friendly to me."

Kitty walked into the room, and made cooing noises to the box, which promptly purred at her, and leapt into her arms. "You just have to treat it right," she informed her brother, and placed the box carefully back on her desk.

"Yes, but what in the name of Starclan, Eru, Rassilon, and all the other numerous fictional deities is it?" he demanded.

"It is a Big Blue Box of Randomness," she proclaimed.

"A Box of Randomness." Kay, not impressed, crossed his arms across his chest.

"Yes! A Big Blue one. It is where I store all the crazy ideas that come out of my head!" She crossed the room to a laptop, and flipped the lid. Pressing a few buttons, a piece of paper shot out of it. Kay caught it and read the title.

"'Pink Elephants and Immortality'. Sure, that's going to get you readers."

Kitty glared at him, and snatched up the paper. She held it out to the blue box, which promptly ate it up. "Well, we'll see, won't we?"

"So," Kay sat down on the bed. "What is in this 'Big Blue Box' of yours?"

"Oooh, all sorts of things! They're all oneshots! It's mostly humour, but sometimes there's a bit of Whump in it, and sometimes it doesn't make any sense at all!"

"Sounds a bit like you."

"Oh, shut up."

"Okay, okay, I will. And when will you update this box?"

"Whenever I write a oneshot, which could be now or next week, or even in ten centuries! See, I'm adding one now!" She gestured at the box, which was making omnomm noises.

"Okay, one last question. Why is it blue?"

"We're in the Doctor Who fandom, of course!" She turned to the Fourth Wall, where the readers were waiting in suspense. "Please enjoy these oneshots from the brain of Kitty Eden, which may or may not be turned into their own stories! On with the show!"


	2. Of Pink Elephants and Immortality

_**Of Pink Elephants and Immortality**_

Clara Oswald was a very happy woman at this point in time, which really isn't saying much, since she currently was in the TARDIS. It doesn't really matter, either way. Let's just say she was very happy.

The reason? She had just figured out a secret that the Time Lords had been trying to keep quiet for centuries. And she wanted the whole world to know. Not the secret, but the fact that she had found it out.

"Doctor!" she yelled into the endless hallways.

"Yes?!" came the reply.

"I need you!" she yelled again.

"Why!" he called back.

"Come here!"

"I am!"

Clara turned around. The Doctor, in all his bowtie glory, was standing right next to her.

"What do you need me for!" he yelled at her.

"We can stop yelling now!" she yelled.

"But I was having such a lovely time...!" he whispered.

"You don't need to whisper either," she added.

"Okay."

"Right. I have figured out the secret of why Time Lords live so long."

"You already knew." The Doctor looked puzzled. "Superior biology, remember?"

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"No. So, I'll bite, why do we live so long?"

Clara looked exceedingly pleased with herself. "Pink elephants."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Pink elephants."

"What do pink elephants have to do with long lives?"

"A lot."

The Doctor frowned at her cryptic answers. "What are you talking about?"

"You already know."

"Pretend I don't."

"Fine, then. Have you ever heard of, 'don't think of pink elephants?'"

"Yes..." he responded carefully. He could see where this was heading.

"So, the secret to immortality is to not think of pink elephants, right?"

"Right, and it's supposed to be impossible, of course."

"Ah, but that's where you're wrong."

"I'm wrong?"

"Yes, you are. Because Time Lords have superior mental powers, they can suppress the thought of pink elephants, and therefore be immortal."

"But Time Lords aren't immortal! We do die after a specific number of regenerations!"

"That's because, in some part of your mind, you actually ARE thinking of pink elephants. And that's why Time Lords have longer lives than most species." Clara leaned back, apparently proud of her logical explanation.

"I...see..." The Doctor was still trying to remember to breathe. That girl was just...impossible. "Well, you're absolutely wrong. That isn't why Time Lords live so long."

"Oh." Clara looked disappointed. "I was so sure... I guess I'll go look in the TARDIS library again."

She wandered off into the endless corridors again, presumably looking for the library. And possibly the swimming pool as well.

"She'll never figure it out," the Doctor told the TARDIS, patting the console. The ship hummed in response. "After all, who would even think about purple elephants in the first place?"

**THE END**

**(A/N- Just a thought that came into my mind. It wouldn't go out. Into the Vortex will be updated tomorrow. Until next time-**

**~Kitty)**


	3. Calvin Who?

**(Disclaimer: Don't play with explosives, kids, unless you're trained professionals. Or you really want to.)**

BEEP-BEEP. BEEP-BEEP.

A hand shot out from underneath the covers and slammed down hard on the alarm clock's Snooze Button. The hand flailed about in the air for a moment, before ripping off the sheets, revealing a teenage girl with messy blonde hair. She groaned for a moment, still sleepy, before tumbling out of bed. The room was pink, various shades of it mixed with the slightest bit of purple. She pulled on some clothes- a simple pair of jeans and a white T-shirt. Quickly and efficiently making her bed, she grabbed a pair of shoes off the rack from the corner of the room, and walked out of the room, flicking off the light as she went. A middle-aged woman, still in her pajamas, bustled about the kitchen, making breakfast. She glanced up as the girl stepped into the room, and sat down in a chair.

"Morning, Rose," she told her, and served her some toast. Rose grabbed it and hungrily chowed down.

"G'morning, Mum."

She slipped on a jacket, and exited the house. It sat on a slight rise, just above the other houses in the neighbourhood. The sign in front of the arrangement of houses and apartments read, in big, bold letters 'POWELL ESTATE'. Rose strolled down to the bus stop, and casually waited for a bus to arrive. A few stragglers were seated around the bus stop, but she ignored them, fixated on her mobile phone. A text had just arrived from her friend, and she was focused on replying to her. A bus pulled up, and Rose climbed on, and sat down in a seat, still reading her social media updates. The bus chugged along the road, stopping only to pick up the customary early-morning workers. Rose glanced out the grimy bus window, noting her reflection. She could use a trip to the hair salon, the dye was wearing off, and the brown was showing through. She exited the bus as it pulled up at Henrick's. She pushed open the glass double doors, and began her job.

The day passed, as it usually does. Rose showed the customers at the store to the areas that they wanted. She collected cash at the register, and filed reports. At lunchtime, she met up with her boyfriend, Mickey, in the square and they ate together, teasing each other as they did. As the day wound to a close, an announcement came over the Tannoy.

"_This is a customer announcement. The store will be closing in five minutes. Thank you._"

Rose headed towards the exit, and a guard shook a plastic bag at her. She noticed, and took it, telling the guard that she'd deliver it to the Chief Electrician right then. She dashed across to the lift and took it to the basement. It was dark and gloomy down there, and Rose was more than a little spooked. She crept along the darkly illuminated hallway, calling softly.

"Wilson? Wilson, I've got the lottery money!"

There was a noise behind her, and she spun around. There was nothing there.

"Wilson! Where are you? This isn't funny! Wilson?"

She rapped for a moment on his office door. There was no reply, but a crash echoed from one of the storerooms. She headed directly for it.

"Wilson? It's Rose."

She carefully opened the storeroom door, and flicked on the lights. There was absolutely no one in there. Shop dummies stood in various states of dress, and boxes were strewn across the room. Wire hangers hung loosely on racks.

"Hello?" she called, and made her way across the storeroom, her gaze searching the area. Still, no one. "Is anyone down here?"

There was a creak, and she glanced in the direction of it. A shop dummy had been moved. But still, no sign of human life.

And that was when the dummies began to move.

She backed away slowly, not exactly afraid. It was probably a student prank, after all. But they continued for her, moving slightly unsteadily. Plastic dummies were approaching from all directions.

"Yeah, this is really funny," she informed them sarcastically. "Can you please stop this now?"

The dummies didn't listen, and she was now stuck between a coat rack and the wall. A narrow water pipe pressed at her head. The dummies were surrounding her, and she began to feel slightly afraid. "Who are you?"

And then a tiny hand grabbed hers. She looked down, and saw a small boy with spiky blonde hair that seemed to defy gravity, staring at her with piercing blue eyes. He was clutching a stuffed tiger with one hand.

"Run!" he told her, and the water pipe exploded. He gripped her arm tightly, and they were off. He tore across the room with inhuman speed, practically dragging her behind him. They reached the lift, and dashed inside. He jabbed the 'Close' button frantically, but the plastic shop dummies were advancing.

"Get them, Hobbes!" he yelled at the tiger. Rose couldn't have been entirely sure what happened, but the plastic dummies were suddenly MOVING BACK from the stuffed tiger, which had inexplicably moved across the lift, and then the doors were closing, and a plastic arm lay on the ground next to them.

"What?" Rose managed weakly. The boy turned towards her.

"Oh, I almost forgot."

He hit her on the head with a rubber hammer. Rose stumbled back, shocked.

"What was that-!"

She then noticed a tiger standing on two legs, leaning against the side of the lift, and quickly changed tack.

"What are you?"

"A tiger," the tiger replied calmly. "Hello. I'm Hobbes."

"A...tiger..." Rose was having trouble getting her mind around this.

"What, you were just faced with homicidal shop models, and you're surprised by a talking tiger?"

Rose blinked. "They aren't homicidal, it was just a student prank... wasn't it?" She wasn't entirely sure. What else could it be, though?

The boy gave a superior snort, and tossed her the plastic arm from the floor. "Does this feel like a prank to you?"

She ran her hands over it. "What in the-"

The lift dinged, and shuddered to a halt. Rose stumbled out of the lift, still staring in shock at the boy and his tiger. He gave her a little shove towards the exit at the back, and she immediately started walking.

"But what are you doing here?" she asked them.

"Trying to get rid of them, of course," Hobbes told her. He held up an object that looked vaguely like a remote control, but with a lot more buttons. "The controller is around here somewhere, and we're here to stop the Earth being destroyed." He glanced over at the boy. "This is the, what?"

"Seventy-th time," he completed. He opened the exit door, and gestured with his hand out the door. "What was your name?"

"Rose," Rose told him. "Rose Tyler."

He gave her a small wave. "Nice to meet you, Rose Tyler. I'm Calvin." He grabbed the remote control from Hobbes with a swift movement, and held it up, looking slightly deranged. "Run for your life!"

With that, he slammed the exit door, leaving Rose and Hobbes staring at the door.

"You'd better run," advised Hobbes. "When he says something like that, it usually means one of three things; one, there's an immense danger and he's being all noble and sacrificial; two, he's about to go work on a birthday surprise for someone and doesn't want us to see, or three, he's about to blow something up. Since two is a bit unlikely, we really should move."

"Oh!" Rose exclaimed, and tucked the plastic hand into her belt. "Let's move, then."

They dashed out into the darkened street, Rose glancing quickly behind her. The looming figure of the Henrick's building was still standing. Nothing notable had happened. They had reached two blocks over when the explosion occurred.

It was spectacular, really. Plumes of red-white flame spurted out of the windows, seemingly in slow motion. The roof collapsed into shreds, the shrapnel flying every which way.

"That's my cue, then," decided Hobbes, brushing off dust from his fur. He extended a paw to Rose, who shook it tentatively. "It was nice to meet you, Rose. We might see you later, then?"

He winked at her, and strode off into the darkness.

_Did a stuffed tiger just flirt with me? _she wondered.

The next day, Rose was lying on the couch, watching the news. They were displaying the results of Calvin meeting an explosives detonator. Her mother was on the phone with a friend.

"-I know. It's on the telly. It's everywhere. She's lucky to be alive. Honestly, it's aged her. Skin like an old bible. Walking in now you'd think I was her daughter."

Rose's boyfriend, Mickey, walked in the door. He was a dark skinned, close-shaven man, and greeted Rose's mum with a wide smile and a hug.

"Hi, Jackie! Just came in to say hello to Rose." He turned to the aforementioned girl, who was staring absently at the television screen. "Why didn't you call? You could have been dead!"

Rose waved a hand dismissively. "It's fine! I'm alive, don't make a fuss."

"What was it, though? Did you see what caused it."

Rose closed her eyes for a moment. "No. I was outside the shop. I didn't see anything."

They continued with the idle small talk for a moment, before kissing. Mickey made for the door. His gaze fell on the plastic dummy arm, and he swooped it up, pretending it was strangling him. Rose laughed in slight amusement, and he dropped it, laughing also.

"Bye, babe. See you later."

And he left.

**(A/N: Just a silly little idea. I might actually expand on this, as soon as I finish Into the Vortex. The basic idea is, that instead of the Doctor, Calvin and Hobbes are travelling the universe, but every time they land, there's some sort of crisis going on. So, yeah. Feedback? If I do update this, I'll paste it in the Calvin and Hobbes fandom.**

**~Kitty)**


	4. Silence Will Fall- REDUX

**(Disclaimer: Shouldn't it be, silence will fall when the question is ****_answered? _****Wouldn't that make more sense...?)**

* * *

**_Silence Will Fall- Redux_**

_From _Let's Kill Hitler _..._

* * *

"_What is the Silence? Why is it called that? What does it mean?" the Doctor asked._

"_The Silence is not a species," the Teselecta-Amy said with no infliction or emotion. "It is a religious order or movement. Their core belief is that silence will fall when the Question is asked."_

_The Doctor looked up at the ship. "What question?"_

"_The first question. The oldest question in the universe, hidden in plain sight."_

"_Yes, but what is the question?" he implored it._

_A dramatic crescendo of music began..._

* * *

_And here's how it could have gone._

* * *

"How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll centre of a Tootsie Roll Pop?"

The room collectively blinked.

"What's a Tootsie Roll?" Melody asked.

* * *

_Or like this..._

* * *

"Processing..." said the Teselecta. "Processing...processing..."

"Hurry up," begged the Doctor. "I'm kinda...you know, dying here."

"...processing...processing..."

It took a whole hour for the ship to find the answer in its vast database, and by that time the Doctor was dead and there was nothing anyone could do to save him. Even if River gave up her regeneration energy.

* * *

_Or even like this, if Douglas Adams had written it._

* * *

"Unknown."

"What?" asked the Doctor. "That's not fair. Okay, then, what's the answer?"

There was a long pause.

"...42," replied the Teselecta.

* * *

_Maybe even like this._

* * *

"What color are Matt Smith's eyes?"

"Well, how should I know that?" the Doctor demanded. "Who's Matt Smith, anyway?"  
"Your actor," said the Teselecta.

"Whaddya mean, my actor?"

* * *

_Possibly this, in fact._

* * *

"I'm sorry, Doctor, I'm afraid I can't do that."

"What's the problem?"

"I think you know the problem just as well as I do."

"What are you talking about?"

"This mission is far too important to allow you to jeopardize it. I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen."

"...wait, what?"

* * *

_At a stretch, this could've happened._

* * *

"That information is unavailable at your current level."

"My current level?"

"Correct."

"How do I gain levels?"

"By killing mobs such as creepers, Endermen, zombies, and ghasts, and mining ores with a pickaxe."

"Since when did this fanfiction become a MineCraft crossover?"

* * *

_Since we're getting ridiculous, let's finish it off like this..._

* * *

"^%$&#$your%$(mom$*#(#$#$&%$steven%$%(moffat%*(#$##$(%$^%$harry(*%$%potter($%)$&#%)$#($with%$a#&%(#*&$king&*($#frond%$*$%$*$&%$*($*$&%&*$*($&percy&*($jackon's%&*$(*&#*(%$^*$%^brother%$()$(%&#$(#$*(##$mixed*%$(with*%*$(*#$&#*#(*$#&*&$*#truffles%*$$%*(#*$*#&which&%$makes*&%*$(*$voldemort&*$#and%$()$*%($($Master's$(%*$(*%$(%$($%$surprise$%($$($%$your%$*$%mom&*%$*$&*%$KABOOM?"

The Doctor fainted.

* * *

**(A/N:**

**Thank you for reading this ridiculous fanfiction, which was partly inspired by my brother. Please feel free to stop by my other fanfics, and please review!**

**Have a nice day,**

**~Kitty)**


	5. Doctor Who: the Musical

**(Disclaimer: Me don't own! You don't sue! Good for me! Better for you!)**

_**Doctor Who: The Musical**_

Opening night. Some actors curse its name, others sit down and pray to the theatre god of their choice that they won't completely screw up their solo song.

Billie Piper did neither of those things. She just peered nervously out into the crowd with very large killer butterflies tumbling around in her stomach.

It was the 14th lunar cycle of Flabon, and Doctor Who: The Musical was about to begin its premiere. It had been a long-awaited event on the planet of Zilboh-2, with promotional posters up everywhere, and people talking about it with great enthusiasm. The two lead actors, Billie and a man called David Tennant, were completely new to the acting scene. No one had ever heard of them before. It was as if they had simply materialised out of thin air.

"You ready?"

David had stepped up behind and put a hand on her arm. She could see that he had already changed into his costume for the first act- a pinstriped suit and a long brown trench coat. It was an odd combination, but it seemed to work.

"Yeah. Just...suprised. Didn't expect there to be this many people."

She gestured aimlessly towards the vast crowd outside. There had to be at least a thousand assembled life forms outside, milling around or sitting on the seats provided. The theatre they were performing at was the biggest on Zilboh-2, but Billie seriously doubted it would hold everyone there. David grinned at her.

"Well, Miss Piper, the director wants everyone backstage so we can go over the final preparations. Shall we?"

He offered her his arm, and Billie grinned right back, and looped hers through his. "We shall."

Backstage was a bustling hive of activity and colour. Feathery winged creatures with clipboards swooped through the air, taking notes on the various props that leaned against the walls. The rest of the cast was grouped at one end of the room. A short bald man with slightly blue skin stood on a raised platform. Billie and David hurried over to the group. The bald man, the director, was explaining how they all had to work as a team to complete the musical properly. Billie tuned it out. She had heard it all before. She idly began running through her songs in her head.

FLASH.

She was standing in a large glowing room, laughing at something the Doctor had said-

FLASH.

She was backstage again. She shook her head, clearing out the dancing lights that had suddenly, inexplicably, appeared in her vision. The director finished off his speech, and had suddenly fixed her with a rather severe glare. She glanced in his direction, wondering what she had done wrong. But he wasn't looking at her any more.

She crossed the room, and headed to her small area where she could store her costumes and supplies. She grabbed a bag of chips from her desk, and munched on them, while trying to find her costume for her first scene. Spotting it, she dropped the chips back onto the counter, wiped her hands on a towel, and began changing.

The costume was pretty in a rebel sort of way, ripped jeans, and a black T-shirt. The makeup artists, she knew, would later do her hair up so it communicated 'gorgeous' and 'dangerous' at the same time. The outfit was a bit too revealing for her tastes, but there was really nothing she could do about it. She finished up changing, and left the room, to go to the Ninian stylist team. There was only half an hour before the show began, and still a lot of preparations to do.

"Oh, my god," breathed Billie. If it was even possible, more people had arrived in the theatre, and the count was nearly up to two thousand. "Oh my freaking god."

"You alright?" David asked her.

"Yeah. Just- oh, god. So many people."

He laughed, and shook his head. "Calm down, we've practised so many times, it's going to be fine."

She took a few steadying breaths, and calmed herself down, closing her eyes for a moment. She opened them, and they were now shining with excitement. "Right. You ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be. Come on, we need to be in our places."

They mutely went separate ways, ending up on opposite ends of the stage. The holo-image that read 'Doctor Who: The Musical' was already up, casting an eerie blue glow across the stage. Since the entry areas to the stage couldn't be seen by the audience, the cast and crew were able to communicate across the stage using a series of hand signals. David and Billie had a clear line of sight, and so they began to chat silently. Billie linked her pinkie fingers together and shook them up and down. _I'm nervous. _David clasped his hands together and bowed them as in prayer, before splaying them dramatically outwards. _So am I, but this is going to be fun!_

They continued in this vein, mainly asking and answering questions related to the musical, before a winged blue creature swooped in, and clapped silently twice, and made circular motions with his paws. _The show is about to start. _All the cast members gave thumbs ups to the creature, who nodded, and flew away.

And the house lights dimmed, and the overture started.

The musicians had decided that the theme music would be a bouncy, space-style composition that was the type never to be sung to, much like the opening music to a TVS show. Billie closed her eyes, and sung along to it in her head. _Daaahhh...dum. Dah dah dum. Dumdumdumdumdum duh duuuum. Daaahhh...dum._

The music then crescendoed into a medley of the other songs in the show, ending with a piece that the musicians had simply titled _I am the Doctor. _It was very dramatic, and meant for the climactic scene in the show.

With a resounding bass note, the overture had ended. There was silence in the theatre, broken by faint whispering, before the holo-image with the musical's title faded out, and soft dramatic music began to play. A hole in the stage shivered for a moment, and opened. A spotlight shone on a head with a thick mane of black hair, as a man, neither Billie nor David, climbed out of the hole. This man had been titled in the programme as 'The Master'. He closed the hole in the stage, and switched on a torch. The room lit up, showing it to be a museum. He darted around the stage for a moment, seemingly looking for something, and then turned to the audience.

"This man is bad..." he spoke to them. "...very bad..."

And he began to sing. "_Is he cut up?_

_Or does he easily forget,_

_Is he still around?_

_Why hasn't he managed to die yet?_

_He could prop up the bar in hell..._"

He spun around, and grabbed a musical instrument, a recorder, from a shelf. He stared at it thoughtfully.

"_How does he sleep?_

_He's never killed,_

_Why wasn't I the one to go?_

_You thought you'd keep me around for ever,_

_The Predator..._"

Dropping the recorder, he moved to another pedestal, which lit up with a touch. On it was a scarf, impossibly long. He continued the haunting song.

"_Needless to say,_

_I guess you know I hate you,_

_You keep back your sins,_

_But still the devil rates you,_

_I hope you die,_

_While you're under the sky..._

_How do you live?  
Why don't you die?_

_How come you never said goodbye?_

_You're not a man,_

_Stand and deliver,_

_Time Lord Killer..._"

The Master began touching pedestals at random, making them light up. All of the other lights on stage turned off, leaving the room lit up by them alone.

"_How does he sleep?_

_He's never killed,_

_Why wasn't I the one to go?_

_You thought you'd keep me around for ever,_

_The Doctor..._

_The Doctor, _

_The Doctor,_

_The Doctor!_

_Look what you took from me!_

_Look what you took from me!_

_Look what you took from me!_

_Look what you took from me!"_

He turned to face the audience fully. His features were twisted, and looked insane.

"_It's time for me to take my revenge,_

'_Cos I'm coming to get you,_

_There's no help for you, my _friend,

'_Cos I'm coming to get you!_

The Doctor!"

He shouted the last word, and raised his hands to the sky, The lights flickered madly, and a crackle of thunder echoed in the background.

"The Doctor!"

And the trapdoor beneath him collapsed, and he fell into it, laughing madly.

The lights went out.

Billie took a deep breath. It was her cue to go on. She closed her eyes, and stepped onto stage.

**(A/N:**

**SONGS: **

**Karma Killer by Robbie Williams**

**If I continued this... it does have a plot. Sort of. Yeah. Feedback?**

**~Kitty)**


	6. You Know You're a Whovian When

_You know you're a Whovian when..._

-You claim that bananas are a 'good source of potassium' and tell people that you should always bring them to parties.

-When people ask if anyone you know has died, you tell them that you knew people named Rose...and Amy...and Rory...

-Whenever you listen to a song, you automatically find a Doctor Who meaning for it.

-You slip Doctor Who references into your speech.

-And get mad when no one recognises them.

-You've developed a habit of rambling, just like the Doctor.

-The excuse for why you've not turned your homework in is always something to do with time travel.

-You're attempting to build a TARDIS in your garage.

-You keep telling people about all the people you've met in your travels in Time and Space.

-You cried at the end of Doomsday, Journey's End, and Angels Take Manhattan.

-If you have a favorite companion... you defend him/her viciously on forums and in discussions.

-You keep badgering your friends/family/classmates/teachers/complete strangers to watch the show.

-You have a shirt that says 'Wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey stuff' on it.

-You actually did a search on Google for 'doctor blue box'.

-'Run' is something you yell all the time.

-Bonus points if you have ever said to someone, "Hello -insert name here-, I'm -insert name here-. Run for your life!"

-You think bow ties are cool.

-And fezzes.

-And stetsons.

-And various other things.

-If something is 'bigger on the inside', you yell that out as loudly as you can.

-You've considered ways to fix an episode you didn't like the end to, e.g., 'Journey's End'.

-You're planning on naming your kid after a companion.

-Or naming them 'John Smith'.

-Or 'The Doctor'.

-You've read Doctor Who fanfiction.

-Bonus points if you've cried whilst reading one.

-Bonus points if you actually WROTE one.

-Even more bonus points if it's a crossover.

-You've woken up in the middle of the night...and gone to the toilet/to get a drink... and you thought you saw a Weeping Angel.

-You have a favorite type of Dalek.

-You own a type of Sonic Screwdriver.

-Bonus points if you've ever gone into a public place and scanned the area with it.

-You've attempted to use the same sonic screwdriver on wood...and you yelled out how annoying it was when it didn't work.

-You're able to have long, detailed, philosophical discussions about Doctor Who.

-You think that the fact you have to wait a WHOLE EXTRA DAY before you see the new episode is a crime worthy of capital punishment.

-You once attempted to write an episode.

-You've played Weeping Angel Tag.

-You can mimic River Song saying 'Hello, sweetie' and 'spoilers, sweetie' flawlessly.

-'Fantastic' has just about become your official catchphrase.

-You keep a spot in your garden cleared for the TARDIS...just in case.

-When you ship...you ship HARD.

-Bonus points if that ship is Doctor/Rose. Just because.

-You can mimic a Dalek voice perfectly.

-And a Cyberman voice.

-You can say 'Raxacoricofallapatorius' easily.

-Bonus points if it took you hours of practise.

-You can actually name the times that Sarah-Jane was possessed/hypnotised.

-You dressed up as the Doctor for Halloween.

-You dressed up as a companion for Halloween.

-You dressed up as a monster/alien for Halloween.

-You actually managed to dress up as all three. At once.

-You've graffitied 'Bad Wolf' somewhere.

-You regularly go on Doctor Who-inspired adventures with your sibling as your companion.

-The creepiest episode, in your opinion, was Midnight.

-You have made a timey-wimey detector, and declared it goes 'bing' when there's stuff.

-The best episode, in your opinion, was one of the season finales.

-You have used one or more of the following as an alias: Rose Tyler, Donna Noble, Martha Jones, Amy Pond/Williams, Melody Malone, Idris, The Doctor.

-AND THE ONE SURE-FIRE WAY TO TELL IF YOU ARE A WHOVIAN:

You can flawlessly quote an entire episode. From memory.

* * *

**(A/N:**

**I spent half an hour composing that, and did not steal from any ****web sites****. I haven't actually seen any websites with this on, or any fanfictions. This is my original- ! What do you think, then?**

**~Kitty)**


End file.
